


Reciprocity

by vorpal_platypus



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Amputation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-08
Updated: 2013-09-08
Packaged: 2017-12-26 00:37:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/959486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vorpal_platypus/pseuds/vorpal_platypus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi helps Erwin change his bandages. Set after chapter 49.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reciprocity

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [on my writing blog](http://theplatypusquacks.tumblr.com/post/60623368836/reciprocity).

Levi gets up when the nurse walks through the door, fresh bandages, disinfectant and a basin of clean water bundled in her arms.

"You can give it here," he says, holding his arms and hands open.

"Sir, I don’t think that would be wi-"

"You can give it here," Levi repeats, the words slipping their way out between his gritted teeth. His expression, already testy, grows darker, and the poor girl yelps.

"Understood sir," she stutters, shoving the supplies into Levi’s arms before ducking out of the room, almost slamming the door shut in her haste. Levi locks it behind her.

From his bed, Erwin says, “You didn’t have to be so hard on her,” but Erwin has said it many times before.

Levi snorts, placing the supplies on the nightstand before unbuttoning the cuffs of his shirt and rolling the sleeves up past his elbows. His coat is slung over the back of his chair, his cravat shoved unceremoniously into its pocket. Levi washes his hands, sitting down on the bed beside Erwin and taking the bandaged stump that’s left of Erwin’s right arm into his hand.  

As he unwraps them, the bandages grow faintly damp, but it doesn’t smell like rot or pus. Sweat, most likely, and Levi is relieved to see the blood where the wound hasn’t closed yet is bright red, smells like iron. 

Erwin has a tray balanced on his lap and a pen in his hand. He’s writing his letters on piece of paper. Levi has spent more time in Erwin’s office writing reports than he cares to admit, and it struck him how different Erwin’s handwriting was from his. He wrote quickly but neatly, each word spaced perfectly with each letter identical. A tutor, Erwin had explained when Levi asked. It was typical among the nobility to hire tutors for their children, and unaesthetic handwriting, Erwin said while glancing at the report Levi had just handed in, was unfashionable. 

Erwin writes slowly now and with great care. He doesn’t press the pen nib as hard against the paper; there’s less force and confidence behind his pen strokes. The lines are faintly crooked, the loops jagged and inelegant, and try as he might, Erwin can’t seem to get them in a straight line.

Sometimes, the paper slips, and the pen runs wild, dragging a bold gash through the center of the page. When this happens, Erwin sets it down, adjusts the paper and starts again. 

Levi pinches a cotton ball with a tweezer and wets it with disinfectant. When he presses it against the wound, Erwin goes stiff. If not for the growing ink blotch where Erwin is pressing his pen too hard into the paper and the slight tremor in his jaw, Levi wouldn’t have noticed Erwin was in pain. When Erwin relaxes, Levi goes back to cleaning the open area around the stitches, switching cotton balls whenever they turn pink. 

Contrary to whatever the nurse may believe, Levi has plenty of experience with dressing wounds. He might not have studied them or had any formal training, but he’s had years and years of watching scouts come and scouts go. The worst are the ones that come home first and then go. They come home with an arm missing or a leg gone; they get their wounds cleaned, sewn shut and wrapped up tight but sometimes it isn’t enough. 

On occasion, Levi helps them change their bandages. He’ll unwrap them, and he’ll find the bandages soaked through with pus. The flesh has gone black at the edges, turned sickly pale green-yellow and stinks like rot. When that happens, the doctors roll them away to hack off the dead meat or eat it away with maggots before it spreads, but sometimes it isn’t enough. They die from blood loss, from shock, from high fevers and their bodies rotting away even as they struggle to live. Levi pours more disinfectant onto a cotton ball and cleans Erwin’s wound a second time. 

As he wraps it in fresh, clean bandages, Levi says, “I never thought.” 

He ties the bandages neatly, washes his hands and folds them in his lap before starting again.

“I just didn’t think it’d end up like this,” Levi says. He snorts briefly, bitterly amused.

“Neither did I,” Erwin murmurs, setting his pen down and setting the tray aside. “You always said I’m a few steps ahead, but I think this time I stumbled.” 

“Awful,” Levi replies, pushing Erwin’s bangs out of the way and leaning in until their foreheads touch. “Absolute shit. The fuck are you even supposed to do now with your right arm gone?” 

“I suppose I have you,” Erwin says, smiling at the corner of his lip. “As my right hand. Now literally.”

“That was even worse,” Levi moans, pressing his lips against Erwin’s smile to wipe it away and to shut him up. 

“I had a terrible teacher,” Erwin says between kisses. “One that rubbed off on me-”

“Don’t even fucking finish,” Levi interrupts, kissing him hard on the mouth. He licks the seam of Erwin’s lips, and Erwin opens his mouth to let Levi slide his tongue against his. “You got your shit sense of humor from somewhere, but it wasn’t me,” Levi says when they break apart for air. 

“My apologies.” 

Erwin looks faintly smug and utterly insufferable, so Levi straddles him across his thighs and drags him in close by his collar. As Levi runs his tongue along Erwin’s bottom lip, he gets started on unbuttoning Erwin’s shirt, but Erwin clasps him by the wrist. Pulling away, Levi tilts his head to the side in question.

“The doctor said no.”

Levi knocks their foreheads together again and sighs very loudly. “You look shittier than usual, I guess.” Erwin’s complexion is sallow from blood loss, and the skin beneath his eyes looks more sunken than usual because of it. Where Levi can feel Erwin’s pulse, it seems to beat weaker than usual. 

“I guess I should go.”

Erwin tilts his head up to kiss Levi on the forehead. “You don’t have to, not yet,” he says against his skin.

“When are you coming home?” Home is the word that fits best in Levi’s mouth, so it’s the word he says. It feels shockingly intimate to reveal a sentiment so vulnerable, but they are alone, and they are weary. 

“Not for a while I think.” Erwin presses his lips chastely against Levi’s, eyes fluttering shut.

“Do you have any idea?”

“Depends on how the wound closes. We’ll just have to wait and see.”

“And this?” Levi questions, trailing an index finger down the length of Erwin’s stump. “How’s it going to affect your rank?”

“I don’t know. I might get discharged. I might not. If I do, I suppose I can dedicate myself more exclusively to politics, try and get more funding. Maybe,” he pauses. “Maybe attempt to reconnect with my family and rely on their connections to get myself more political clout. Use my injury as propaganda. I’d always be available as a strategic consultant should the Legion ever needed me, of course.

“If not, I’d no longer be able to participate on the field unless I could somehow find a way to make the 3D maneuver gear functional with one arm. I’d be limited to planning, paper pushing.” Something like resignation and disappointment flickers across Erwin’s face. “Hanji would appreciate it, so would you. Less work for the both of you to deal with.”

Levi presses an open mouthed kiss into the crook of Erwin’s neck. “I’d help you, you know. With the 3D maneuver gear, I mean.” 

Erwin smiles. “You should help Ackerman.”

“Doesn’t use her momentum, wastes her gas instead. You? You’re just too fat. Maybe now that you’ve lost a few pounds you’ll do better.”

“You’re a fine teacher already,” Erwin chuckles, running his knuckles soothingly down Levi’s back. “Now you should actually talk to the girl.”

“I do talk to the girl. And you? Who do you help?” Who do you train to replace you once you’re dead?

“Perhaps the Arlert boy. His instincts are good.”

“You mean he’s fucked in the head the same way as you,” Levi replies. They’re quiet for a moment. “We’re really old, aren’t we?”

“The old guard can’t stay forever,” Erwin agrees. 

They stay there, warm bodies pressed together like a reminder. Levi always thought he’d die in the mouth of a titan, Erwin’s command the last words he ever heard. Now, with Erwin forced away from the field, possibly permanently, he feels almost relieved. It makes him kiss Erwin again, once on each eyelid and once on his mouth before he rolls off him, curling up against Erwin’s side on a bed too small for the two of them. The silence is comfortable, and they wait until a nurse comes to shoo Levi out, but the nurse never comes. 


End file.
